1 00:00:10,256 --> 00:00:12,215 Shit! 2 00:00:14,326 --> 00:00:15,846 Nice to see you. 3 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,600 Jason, don't start me! 4 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,519 I can't believe I'm working in Turley's. 5 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:29,560 Will I actually get to - meet Turley, himself? - Mm. 6 00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:31,870 Do you know Primark? 7 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:34,880 Why is it called Primark? 8 00:00:34,905 --> 00:00:37,785 Was the fella that started it called Primark? 9 00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:40,839 I wish someone would name a shop after me. 10 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,400 But then who'd want to call a shop "Gemma"? 11 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,439 My granny Betty hates tea. 12 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:50,519 I mean it's not even that she doesn't like it, she hates it. 13 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,399 If you made her a cup of tea she'd throw it in your face. 14 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,839 I says to her once: "Granny, why do you hate tea so much? 15 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,719 She said: "Don't you ever ask me that again or I'll break your neck!" 16 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,479 This government has done more than any previous government 17 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,359 to end child poverty in the developing world, 18 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,959 but no one in the media wants to ask me about that! 19 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,479 And then you'd respond? 20 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,160 Uh... Seamus? 21 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,279 If I had a shop, I'd call it "Bracelets." 22 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,079 But I wouldn't sell bracelets. 23 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,199 I just really like the name, "Bracelets." 24 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:27,199 Do you know who I love? Matthew McConaughey. 25 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,879 Do you know what I don't love? Tomato soup. 26 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,239 But I like real tomatoes and I don't like potatoes. 27 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,399 But I do like chips. But I don't like fish. 28 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,719 But I do like scampi. 29 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,279 Seamus, I really think we should- 30 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,720 Seamus? 31 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,000 - Seamus? - Yeah, just... 32 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,120 one sec. 33 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,639 Um... 34 00:01:55,640 --> 00:02:00,879 Crisps, broccoli, lettuce, marzipan, porridge, curly wurleys... 35 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,839 Seamus, could you...? 36 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:06,359 Sausages, vegetarian sausages, vegan sausages... 37 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,920 Ahem. 38 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,199 - OK, no! - Hey! 39 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:14,120 Anything vegan, anything sausage-Shut the fuck up, Gemma! 40 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:16,639 I need you to focus. 41 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,959 Nisha Anand is a formidable media performer. 42 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,119 If you're not prepared for this, she will make you look amateur- 43 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:26,279 It's fine. Stop freaking out. I'll just say, you know: 44 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,519 Nisha Anand, in an interview with the Daily Telegraph, you described 45 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:34,319 the 2008 Climate Change Act as a lurch towards global communism. 46 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,159 Seamus-Don't you think that kind of language is not just 47 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,800 inflammatory but hugely irresponsible? 48 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,959 Answer the question, Minister! 49 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,520 That wasn't her, Seamus. 50 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,599 Fuck! That was the Health Secretary! 51 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,360 OK, OK, OK. I'll start again. 52 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:54,799 Foreign Secretary... 53 00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,439 I'm sorry I shouted at you. 54 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,679 I'm a bit stressed, I shouldn't have taken it out on you. 55 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,759 Are you depressed again? Who told you that? 56 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,039 Everyone who works here. I'm not depressed. 57 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,320 If anything, it's the opposite, I'm... overjoyed. 58 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:13,999 Is this about a fella? I can't talk about it. 59 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,959 It is about a fella! 60 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,879 I haven't told anyone about him and it's driving me mental. 61 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,199 - Who is he? - He's nobody. Well he's not nobody. 62 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,879 He's famous! Fuck off! 63 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:26,119 His girlfriend's famous, too! He has a girlfriend? 64 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,799 I know, it's terrible So how'd you meet him? 65 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,599 I saved his life. And he saved my life! 66 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,919 We didn't have sex. 67 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,759 I mean we didn't- We didn't even kiss. 68 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,679 But we've been texting each other all week. 69 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,759 So who is he? Well, I can't tell you that. 70 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,399 Is it Tom Cruise? Of course it's not Tom Cruise! 71 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,119 He's English. Is it Hugh Grant? 72 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:45,239 No it's not Hugh Grant. Fuck it's not Simon Cowell, is it? 73 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,640 Stop guessing, I'm not telling you. 74 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,039 He's staying in the Merchant Hotel. Ooh-hoo! 75 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,439 Yeah, and I texted him saying, 76 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:57,079 "Oh I've always wanted to stay at the Merchant," with a sexy winking emoji. 77 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,079 But he hasn't replied and it's been three hours 78 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:00,999 and it's driving me fucking mental! 79 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,439 Should I text him and tell him I was only joking? 80 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,319 Cause it's-I don't want to scare him away. 81 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,919 Ack, you know what these English fellas are like. 82 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,759 You have to be very forward with them. 83 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,240 They're too polite. 84 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,280 Coming, Jason. 85 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,119 - We've moved things around. - Yeah. 86 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:28,119 - So, Nisha is up first. - Uh-huh. - You have to go in hard. - OK. 87 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,839 I have people coming up to me on the street 88 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:33,239 and they say, "I am 100% behind you on this." 89 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:37,079 Fuck, she's really good. Do you think you're ready for this? 90 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:40,199 I really think the public's ahead of you on this one. 91 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,839 It's... fine. 92 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:43,919 It'll be fine. 93 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:47,039 Woah, woah, woah! There's no way I'm staying here. 94 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,679 This is my hotel. Oh, it looks really nice. 95 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,080 Sleep well. 96 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,480 Here you go, mate. 97 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,040 Thank you. 98 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,360 Woo-hoo! 99 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,400 Seamus, Seamus, Seamus. 100 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,800 Ooh! Ha-ha! 101 00:05:55,240 --> 00:06:00,159 Yeah! Yeah, girl! Wacka, wacka. Wacka, wacka... 102 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,399 Hiiii. 103 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,559 It's only me! 104 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,679 Jesus fucking Christ! What are you doing here? 105 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,679 - Turn around! - I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- 106 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:13,319 Close your eyes! I was trying to surprise you! 107 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,519 Surprise, surprise- Go in the other room! 108 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,120 I'm sorry, I just- 109 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,839 I'm so sorry. 110 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,199 That was a big misjudgement on my part. 111 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,159 You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack. 112 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:28,559 I thought maybe you were shy. What? 113 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,879 I thought you were shy, because you didn't reply to my text, 114 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:34,039 I thought you wanted something to happen, but you were being all English about it- 115 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,759 Sorry, I-I didn't reply to your text 116 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,599 so you thought you'd break into my hotel room? 117 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,519 I didn't break in! Attack me in the shower! 118 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,999 I didn't attack you in the shower, I gave you a little wave! 119 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,359 Did you not see my wee wave? It was-What? 120 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:48,319 If you didn't want me to come up, why did you tell me what room you were staying in? 121 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,799 Well... because I wanted to brag about staying in Room Number One! 122 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,519 I didn't expect you to show up! Why care about the number of the room? 123 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,719 Because it's the Presidential Suite! - Bill Clinton slept here! - What? 124 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,279 Look, anyway, how did you get in? 125 00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:01,279 Oh, the cleaner was leaving when I arrived so I just-Jesus Christ! 126 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:04,359 Look, I'm sorry, I only meant to knock on your door. 127 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,519 I never intended to drink your champagne and eat your chocolates. 128 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,280 You drank my champagne? 129 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,559 Only most of it. 130 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,959 Wh-wh-where are you going? Home. 131 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,119 Well, don't just go! You don't seem happy to see me. 132 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,959 No, I am. 133 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,920 Look, do you want to go for a drink? 134 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,680 Well, do you want to get dressed? 135 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,999 So why do you think you're staying at the Presidential Suite? 136 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,999 Erm, hmm, because I am. 137 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,719 The Presidential Suite's in the Europa, which is a different hotel. 138 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,802 No-It's not the Presidential Suite. No, no, no, no, no. 139 00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:50,849 It's not the Presidential... - Oh, excuse me. Hi. - Yes? - Hi. 140 00:07:50,874 --> 00:07:54,360 Erm, ahem, I'm staying in Room 1. Yes, sir. 141 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,439 Which is... Room 1. 142 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:03,639 Yes, er, but could you tell this lady, the very important, 143 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,319 famous guest, who once stayed there? She doesn't believe me. 144 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,279 Ah. Certainly, sir. 145 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:12,359 On his "One Last Time" tour in 2004, 146 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:16,115 Barry Manilow did stay in Room 1. But it was only for the one night. 147 00:08:16,140 --> 00:08:18,639 No, no, no. Not, not, not Barry Manilow. 148 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:22,919 I meant, erm, you know, erm, Bill Clinton. 149 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:23,999 I'm sorry. 150 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:28,279 No, I'm afraid President Clinton never stayed here. 151 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,679 Perhaps you're, erm, thinking of the Europa? 152 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,679 Yeah, perhaps, could be. 153 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:37,800 I should've double-checked. 154 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:42,239 My mind's been very taken up with this extremely important 155 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,919 interview I've got tomorrow. Hmm. Who's the interview with? 156 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:49,120 - Nisha... Anand. - Oh! 157 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:54,818 Am I supposed to know who that is? She's the Foreign Secretary. 158 00:08:55,318 --> 00:08:56,855 Farm Secretary! What? 159 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,239 No, no. Not, not Farm Secretary. 160 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,039 Sorry, the-the Foreign Secretary. 161 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:05,799 That's what I said, Farm Secretary. No, no, foreign. Foreign. 162 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,439 - For-reign! - Oh, Foreign. Foreign. Yes. 163 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,359 Foreign Secretary. Why didn't you just say that? 164 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:13,639 Fuck off."I'm interviewing the Farm, Foreign Secretary!" 165 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,439 Oh, is that supposed to be me? It's what English people sound like. 166 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,839 Well, anyway, I'm not English, I'm Irish. 167 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,599 What's funny about that? I am Irish. 168 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,079 My name's Seamus O'Hannigan. 169 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:25,639 "My name's Seamus O'Hannigan. Don't you know, old bean?"Fuck off! 170 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,119 I can't imagine you being any good at interviewing people. 171 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,919 Oh, well, thank you very much! 172 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,959 It's only, erm, what I do for a living. 173 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,719 No, you're too self-absorbed. 174 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,919 Surely to do your job you have to be like interested in other people? 175 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:43,599 I am interested in other people! - Hey, I'm interested in you. - Bollocks. 176 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,279 You haven't asked me one single question about myself since I sat down. 177 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,319 - You haven't asked me anything. - I'm not interested in anything you have to say. 178 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,360 Well, fine, let's not talk then. - Fine by me. - Fine. 179 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,759 I do actually have a serious question for you. 180 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,279 Well, I actually have a serious - question for you too. - You go first. 181 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:20,999 No, no, no. You go first. I'll ask mine after- 182 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,040 Why do you want to kill yourself? 183 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,840 Why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend? 184 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,079 I don't want to answer that question. 185 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,120 But thank you for saving my life. 186 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,639 Look, I'm... 187 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,999 I'm sorry I didn't mention I had a girlfriend. 188 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,279 I shouldn't have done that. 189 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,199 But look, we didn't actually do anything, so- 190 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,080 So, what are we doing here now? 191 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,639 Er, well, erm, I like you. 192 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,479 I wanted to see you again. 193 00:10:55,480 --> 00:11:00,480 And, erm, I do-I do find you extremely attractive. 194 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,399 Wow, what do you find "extremely" attractive about me? 195 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,679 Pfft! 196 00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:11,479 You-you want me to spell it out? Yeah. 197 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:12,520 OK. 198 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:14,800 OK, erm... 199 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,359 Well, I like, erm, er... 200 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,279 Right, I like your face. It's a nice face. 201 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:26,719 Erm, it's, erm, a very regal, er, face. 202 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:32,559 Er, your-your brow, is as- You got-You have eyes too- 203 00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:37,919 Er, nice eyes-Is that it? And-And your-your smile- 204 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,039 - You like my smile? - Yeah. 205 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,239 You're not gonna see me smiling much tonight 206 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,119 if that's the level of compliment you're giving- 207 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,919 Alright, alright, alright, alright. I-I-I like, erm- 208 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,399 I like that you always tell the truth. 209 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:53,359 I like that you clearly don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about you. 210 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,799 And I like how... 211 00:11:55,800 --> 00:12:00,520 you're just always unapologetically you. 212 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:02,880 Janet. 213 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:10,799 Mm-hmm. 214 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:11,840 What? 215 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,279 What do you find attractive about me 216 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,719 Who says I find anything about - you attractive? - Oh, come on! 217 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,639 Name one thing that you like about me. 218 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:21,960 Go on, one thing. 219 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,720 Hmm... 220 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,320 Oh, dear. 221 00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:36,799 - Your nose. - My nose? Yeah, you've a nice nose. 222 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,839 - Pfft! - That's the only thing I like about you. 223 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:42,279 An inch bigger or smaller I-I wouldn't be here right now. 224 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:02,520 So... 225 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:06,600 what do you want to do now? 226 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,400 I love my girlfriend. 227 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,560 That's that, then. 228 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,599 Yeah. Yup. 229 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,599 I should probably go and do - some work. - Um-hmm. I'm gonna go. 230 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,080 I'm gonna see if they've got a taxi. Yep. 231 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,920 Can you just give me a second? Thank you. 232 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:01,720 Thanks. 233 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,919 So, listen. I've just had this - crazy idea. - Oh yeah? What's that? 234 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,960 - Let's have an affair. - What? 235 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,959 - We can't, we just-We can't. - Why, of course we can, of course we can. 236 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,439 - Why? - People would get hurt! Who? 237 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,999 Well, my girlfriend for a start. She wouldn't find out, Seamus. 238 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,719 That's why they call it an affair. - You would get hurt. - I would get hurt? 239 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,959 By who, by you? Who do you think you are, Seamus? 240 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,359 Do you think you're so good at sex, 241 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,239 I'll be broken-hearted if you take away the dick? 242 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,479 - Shush! - I have a vibrator. You won't be missed. 243 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,719 Anyway I'm famous. It would be national news. 244 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,679 National news? 245 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,079 I hate to break this to you, mate, but, you're not that famous. 246 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,879 I am famous! Not really famous. 247 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,040 I fucking am. I am famous! 248 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,400 So why is nobody looking at you? 249 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,279 They were looking at me when I walked in. 250 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,839 They-They've got used to me being here by now. 251 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:02,399 - Walk in again. - What? 252 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:06,959 Walk from here to here and see if anyone notices you. 253 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,359 No, I'm-I'm-I'm not making a spectacle of myself. 254 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,959 It won't be a spectacle, cause nobody'll be watching you. 255 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,000 Fine. 256 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,000 Ahem! 257 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,880 Hmm. 258 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,039 See? People were looking. Nobody was looking. 259 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:48,039 They're posh. That's how posh people respond to the presence 260 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,679 of a celebrity, with studied disinterest. 261 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:52,239 Anyway, you were looking at me, not them. 262 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,799 Let's try somewhere else. 263 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,880 Zip! Shh! 264 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,759 What the fuck's your problem? Sorry, sorry. 265 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,200 It's OK. 266 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,599 I'M SEAMUS O'HANNIGAN! 267 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,759 DOES NOBODY IN BELFAST KNOW WHO I AM?! 268 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,000 FUCK OFF, YOU ENGLISH PRICK! 269 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,000 Maybe I'm just famous in Islington. 270 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,760 OK, let's have sex. 271 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,200 OK, then. 272 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,119 OK, let's go. 273 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,999 Seamus O'Hannigan? Foreign Secretary! 274 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,879 Good evening! I, erm, didn't know you were staying here. 275 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,839 I'm not. I'm just having dinner - with the Secretary of State. - Oh. 276 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,479 I'm at the Europa. Presidential Suite! 277 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,159 I... Hello! 278 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,760 I'm Nisha! Ooh. 279 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,160 Hello, I'm Janet. Hi. 280 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,999 - I'm his secretary. - Assistant. Assistant. 281 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,559 Yeah, assistant. Assistant, yeah. 282 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,519 So, ready to do battle tomorrow, mister? 283 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,759 I'm a bit nervous. Go easy on me! 284 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,679 Oh, it'll be fine. Is she the politician you're - interviewing tomorrow? - Yeah. 285 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,559 Don't be nervous, Nisha! He's nervous too! 286 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,319 What? I'm not nervous? 287 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,559 Who said I was nervous? You said it about ten minutes ago! 288 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,520 No, I didn't. I never said that. No, no, no, no, no, no. 289 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,879 Where do I know your face from? She's the Foreign Secretary. 290 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,479 Oh, my holy fuck! You were on - Celebrity Come Dine With Me! - I was! 291 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,399 Jason Donovan hated your lasagne! 292 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,959 You know what? a lot of the snobby types in the party, and the media, 293 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:41,919 criticised me for doing reality TV but I loved every second of it! 294 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,879 You were brilliant! Aw, thank you, pet! 295 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,439 The look on your face when Jedward handed you that pear flan! 296 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,439 The stories I could tell you about Jedward! 297 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:51,359 Tell me, tell me, tell me! Oh, we should get going. 298 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:52,959 Right, bye. 299 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,320 - Now she is famous. - She's a cunt! 300 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:06,960 I thought she was nice. 301 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,799 Why'd you have to tell her I was nervous? 302 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,759 I hate her knowing that I'm nervous. She said she was nervous, too. 303 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:19,719 Well, I know she's nervous and she knows I'm nervous, 304 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,119 but now I know she knows I'm nervous- 305 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:24,079 So, everybody's nervous and everybody knows everybody's nervous. 306 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,840 What's the big deal? It sabotages the dynamic. 307 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,039 I don't know what that means. 308 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:34,039 It's a media term, you wouldn't understand. 309 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,479 Where are you going? I'm going home. 310 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,359 I thought we were going to-This isn't gonna work. 311 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,959 What-What's not going to work? This, this, and this. 312 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,919 You think I'm beneath you. No, I don't! 313 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,519 You think I'm stupid. Oh my God! 314 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,639 Where-Where's this coming from? No, I don't! 315 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,399 - I embarrassed you. - When? 316 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,159 Just now in front of the Farm Secretary. 317 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,719 Foreign-Foreign! Fucking Foreign Secretary. Fuck! 318 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:05,680 Well, look it's-It's just- 319 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,359 Seamus, we're completely different people, 320 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:17,960 from completely different worlds. - It shouldn't matter. - It does though. 321 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,000 Ah well, big lad. 322 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,520 It wasn't meant to be. 323 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,040 How will you get home? 324 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,040 I'll get the bus. 325 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:50,479 Come on! 326 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,639 "Does the minister agree with Labour's plans 327 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,559 to work with the British Business Bank 328 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,359 to support female families achieve their ambitions?" 329 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,239 "Hear, hear." 330 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,319 "I have been hurt on here, 331 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,279 like in here, you kind of get away with it..." 332 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,200 Ugh! 333 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,159 I said, "Ugh!" 334 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:49,359 I know, love. And it'd turn your stomach, wouldn't it? 335 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,320 Fuck it! 336 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,520 Are you getting on or what? 337 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:43,239 Where's the bus stop? Left on the corner. 338 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,680 Thank you, thank you- 339 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,719 Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry! 340 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,000 Fuck! Fuck! 341 00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:54,480 Wait! Wait! Wait! 342 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:57,360 Uh, fuck! 343 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,359 Was that the bus for the Newtownards Road? 344 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:05,200 Aye, you just missed it, son. Ah, shit. 345 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:13,040 Huh? 346 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,520 You didn't get on the bus? 347 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:29,759 Might have. 348 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,479 Might have got off again. 349 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,719 I had a craving for an ice cream and I thought, 350 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,559 "Fuck it, I'll get myself an ice cream and then I'll go home." 351 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,320 Do you mind if I join you? 352 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:43,280 Um... 353 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,879 You know, every time I've been to Belfast, it's never places like this. 354 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:06,719 I'm always stood beside a mural or stuck in a farmhouse 355 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,959 interviewing a terrorist. 356 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,600 I mean, this is lovely. 357 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,599 Well, that never used to be a sushi bar. 358 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,360 They used to execute people - in there. - Huh. 359 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,319 Oh! Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. 360 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,759 I'm sorry. Are-Are you OK? 361 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:52,479 What-what did you do that for? Argh! 362 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:53,799 It was just instinct. 363 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,879 I'm not used to people trying to kiss me. 364 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,200 I think my nose is broken. Oh god! Let me see. 365 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,479 Let me see, let me see. Oh fuck! 366 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,120 There. No. Fine. It's still a- 367 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,359 Yup, still a lovely nose. 368 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:52,160 Seamus? 369 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:56,719 Frankie?